Smiling and humor would be my choices.
- A sense of humor is a major defense against minor troubles.
Humor power is a magical potion between the logical and intuitive minds. The best kind of humor is a vehicle for positive emotion that not only leaves ‘em laughing, it leaves ‘em smiling. By understanding, embracing and practicing humor at its best, we can add to the “laugh force” on the planet, and allow enlightening humor to strike more frequently.
“Laughter is medicine.” We’ve heard it so often, it’s almost a cliché. A good laugh is a wonderful thing. It refreshes, relieves stress, generates positive emotions, promotes communication, strengthens group identity and cohesion, and benefits both the giver and receiver. In addition to these significant benefits, there is also evidence that laughter and humor promote good health.
On rare occasions, humor fires on all cylinders. One such story, purported to be true, (as told to me by my father-in-law with the State Department), is something that happened during the Cuban missile crisis in 1962. As you may or may not remember, this is the closest we as a world have come to nuclear holocaust. Fortunately, wiser heads and hearts prevailed on both sides.
However, in the midst of the crisis there were some American and Soviet delegates meeting to discuss possible trade between the two countries. When news of the missile crisis hit, there was tremendous tension and the room fell silent. Finally, one of the Soviet delegates stood up and proposed that they take turns telling jokes. He volunteered to start. “What’s the difference between capitalism and communism?”“In capitalism, man exploits man. In communism, it’s the other way around.”
The room erupted in laughter, the kind of explosion that heals. When the laughter died down, they were able to continue their business in peace and far less tension.
Ever since I first heard this story many, many years ago, I have held it as the highest level of humor — offering physical and emotional release, and mental and spiritual insight. Instantly, the room was transformed as each individual recognized him or herself — as well as everyone else — as humans, united at the heart.
Likability is really about what you say with your body language before you utter a word to those around you.
Most of us go around with really horrible body language, we close up, we frown and we don’t maintain eye contact. But all these matters even before you say a word.
People subconscious judge people just by what you do before they meet you.
So you had better work on your body language; learn to smile more, laugh more, open your body language and be excited around people.
2. ASK INTERESTING questions
Conversations is all about questions and answers back and forth between two people. So if you wanna crank up your social game, you gotta crank up the quality of your questions.
Stuffs like these are pitiful
- How was your day
- Where are you from
- Do you participate in/like sports?
- How is everyone at home
- What are you doing here
Try stuffs like these
- Why do you like traveling
- Why did you choose to work at that company
- Do you think money is everything
- What’s the most important thing you’re working on now
- Who is the celebrity that you really want to meet? Why?
- Tell me about the craziest travel experience you have ever heard.
The problem with these questions is that they take guts for you to ask them. But once you start, the quality of your conversation changes considerably.
**3. FIND COMMON GROUND
You know the problem with psychology? It’s a giant evil magic trick
It’s easy to make anyone like you and I meant that literally because we like people like us. So show anyone that you’re similar to them in anyway and they’ll instantly like you.
Always look for something to connect you to others and make it known to the other person. Probably you know the same person or had a similar experience or interests.
People love those that sees the world like they do. You will look charming and people easily relax when they see you’re similar.
Think it’s a lie. Try it out. Wear a sport jersey and approach a girl wearing that same jersey and you’ll see.
I firmly believe that attention is rarer than gold.
Newsflash is that we love talking about us. Studies shows we get doses of pleasure when we do and we also kind of like those who makes us feel pleasure.
So if you can be there to just listen to others as they talk about themselves and they get that dose while doing it, you’ll be seen as charming. However please don’t go cold turkey on them. Say something too, keep it to 60/40 or 70/30, 90/10 and 100/0 are just plain horrible.
If you want another broadway into people’s heart apart from appearing similar to them, it’s by showering them with compliments.
And its really easy. You just have to get off your own damn ego and sincerely appreciate others. Get impressed by them and tell them you are.
Tell them about what they did right. What you see that is awesome about them. Give them the credit they deserve and show gratitude when they help you..
Doing these makes the person feel appreciated and they’ll like you for it.
So go try out those five things to upgrade your social skills and be charming.