HUB TELEGRAM — So you moved into your new apartment months ago and were excited to get to know your fellow apartment mate and share the fun in decorating and spending quality time together. Unfortunately, your relationship with your roommate isn’t like it was before: your roommate’s cleaning habits, their ability to find and eat your leftovers, or their significant other’s 24/7 presence at your apartment may start to take a toll on you. If this is starting to sound like you, and you’ve already tried to resolve these conflicts with your roommates, you may be feeling pretty stressed out or frustrated with your living situation and are wondering if you’d be happier living elsewhere. The decision to move out isn’t easy, but here are some signs that maybe it’s time for you and your roommates to go your separate ways when the end date of your lease draws closer.
1. They won’t do their part to help resolve recurring issues.
One issue I’ve had with college roommates in the past is cleanliness. My roommates would leave dirty dishes in the sink and we’d completely run out of clean dishes and the stacks of mugs and plates would be overflowing onto the counter top. When I confronted my roommates about this issue, they agreed to be more conscientious with their dishes after eating, and their eagerness to work on this issue was a great relief to me. I was hopeful things would get better, but soon enough dirty dishes again grew into tall stacks in the sink, even after several more friendly reminders. My roommates simply didn’t care to clean their dishes regularly and that was that. Respect is an important quality in a roommate, and if your roommates don’t respect your concerns in your shared living space and refuse to compromise, it may be time to find roommates that are more willing to work together toward harmony in your home.
2. You intentionally spend most of your time away from your apartment.
Life can get hectic with jobs, friends and family, relationships and social events, so spending some time out of the house is totally understandable! However, if you notice that you are spending the entire day finding errands to do, or are crashing on your friend’s/partner’s/family’s couch on a regular basis to avoid interactions with your roommates at home, it may be time to reevaluate your current living situation. If you’re anything like me, you are paying a decent amount of rent to live at your place and you want to be able to enjoy the most of it! It’s important to feel like you are coming “home” at the end of the day, and no one should ever feel like they have to avoid their own apartment!
3. Everything your roommates do becomes a new stressor in your life.
This is an important one. If you’re past the point where your roommate’s behavior bothers you, and the little everyday things they do start to really get on your nerves (OH MY GOSH I HATE IT WHEN THEY LAUGH!!), then it may be time to part ways with your roommates. It’s OK to feel annoyed and frustrated if conflicts and misunderstandings come up when living together, but it may not be the best if you constantly feel annoyed or stressed out due to your roommates just being there. Again, the idea is that it’s important to feel comfortable in your own home and no one needs unnecessary stress in their life if they can prevent it!
I hope this helps if you are conflicted about whether or not to move out of your place due to your roommates. While ideally it is best to try to resolve conflicts with your roommates, sometimes we’ve done all we could to fix the situation and we need a clean break. Just remember that it doesn’t make you a horrible person if you realize that you guys aren’t compatible as roommates and you do decide to move out. People who are poor roommates can still turn out to be great friends; so don’t feel like you have to cut ties if you still want them in your life! As long as you break the news to them gently, you can maintain a close relationship with them even if living together didn’t work out.